Major Player In My Life

All this turbulence has cradled my heart.
There is little left of my airflow.
My father and I are miles apart.
The loneliness has continued to grow.

I just need to find a picture
Of all the good TIMES we shared.
We both are a crazy mixture.
Dad I know you truly cared.

I’m sitting here lonely in my room.
Help me figure this one out.
This feeling of unrelenting gloom,
Has stricken me with so much doubt.

I hope you left me a letter.
My spirit has begun to descend.
I’m praying it will make it all better.
I hope this is not the end.

What is that on the table?
Can this be the answers I seek?
Give me the strength to be able,
To know our situation isn’t bleak.

To my son, I will always love you.
The separation cuts deep like a knife.
The bond we share is like Super Glue.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

Nothing has change but the distance.
I’m filing for a divorce from my wife.
Your mother has not been resistant.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

I will continue to support you and your mother.
There is no bad blood, conflict, or strife.
We will continue to love one another.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

DEDICATION: This is dedicated to NATHAN MAJORS who has handled his trials and tribulations with great courage. In the face of adversity he has become better and not bitter. Nathan has continued to be an AWESOME, AWESOME father. He has continued to hold his rank among men who are breaking the cycle of DEAD BEAT DADS, NO CALL NO SHOW FATHERS, and ABSENTEE FATHERS. Unlike Congressman JOE WALSH of ILLINOIS, TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN that has not paid his wife and children $117,437.00 for 9 years is bad news for all the GOOD MEN who are STEPPING UP THEIR GAME.

To all my NLDERS here is the comparison and contrasting behavior of what is INTENTIONAL. JOE WALSH behavior is highly unacceptable. There are many men around the world who doesn’t hold the position JOE WALSH hold. These men have been called out to pay child support for way less. How did he slip through the cracks? JOE WALSH needs to be held accountable. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

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Let Fathers Be Fathers

This experience is frightening for me. Our son has to go through a diagnostic evaluation to see if he has a learning disability. He was fine until he reached middle school then his grades begin to drop. The more things he had to do on his own he just didn’t seem to be able to get organize for his school work. I thought it was because his grandmother passed away. Quincy and his grandmother were so close. She practically raised him from a baby. His mother, Catherine, worked two jobs and her mother offered to help us out. JoAnn, Catherine’s mother, was a diabetic. I always felt my wife should quit one of her jobs so we could spend more time with Quincy. I didn’t mind making the sacrifice to work the extra hours. I wanted at least one parent to be with Quincy so he wouldn’t feel he was so alone. She was forced to quit one of the jobs after her mother died. I don’t know if she resented coming home.

I worked for the railroad. It was a fairly decent pay when I put in the extra long hours. Milton, a long time co-worker and my best friend had a son diagnosed with autism. He shared many stories about his son. Milton’s stories frightened me because they always seemed to be so closely connected to my life. It appeared that Milton and his ex-wife had problems regarding their son being autistic. Later I learn Milton’s ex-wife had trouble with any women coming around her son or dating Milton.

Milton had gained full custody of his son. He was very proactive in his son’s life. Milton had started an autism support group. He had invited me several times. It always made me feel as if Milton was so many steps ahead of me. He continued to ask me to come and participate in the Autism group. Some parts of me wanted to attend but the other half of me was afraid. For some reason I could see part of my life being like Miltons. It felt like the movie Face Off.

Catherine and I had trouble in our marriage. She blamed herself for not being there when her mother passed away. We had problems before her mother ever came to stay. Her mother’s presence helped relieve a great amount of stress in our household.

JoANN was so patient and kind with Quincy. She was Quincy’s rock. Catherine and I were so tired after working so many hours. It left us no room to deal with Quincy’s problems. It didn’t allow him the ability to process when he became angry and frustrated. JoAnn would always tell Catherine, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It. Let the boy’s father deal with his behavior. Catherine was quick-tempered and lacked patience. It would make Quincy’s behavior become very explosive.

More and more Quincy’s behavior started changing and he begin to sleep a lot. I became greatly concerned because I thought Quincy was slipping into a state of depression. Catherine said Quincy just wanted attention and he was just lazy and she didn’t have the time to be bother with his foolishness. Where did that response come from? When I ask her about her statement, she glared at me with her lip twisted and stormed out of the room. I guess that was my answer. We had began to argue more frequently.

I was all for the evaluation but Catherine would get upset every time I would try to talk about it. We were getting closer to our evaluation date. Catherine had almost totally shutdown. The moments of silence were killing me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Every time I would try to discuss how we could help Quincy she would bring up her father and how he would deal with the situation. Catherine was very close to her father. At the age of 17, her father died on his way to work of a stroke. She always compared me to her dad. At first I didn’t mind. I kind of thought it was an honor until I talked to JoAnn. Before Catherine’s mother died we had this conversation about JoAnn’s husband. He wasn’t the man my wife made him out to be.

In the heat of the moment I tried to get Catherine to talk. When she mentioned her dad my head spun around like I was the star in the Exorcist. The next thing I knew I had revealed what Catherine’s mother had told me about her dad. At that moment I realized from the look on my wife’s face she never knew. My heart-felt as if it was going to come through my chest. I would never say or do anything to hurt Catherine. It was all over. Catherine ran into the bedroom and started grabbing her clothes out of the closet. I was trying to prevent her from leaving and I don’t remember what happened after that. I have tried to relive that moment in the bedroom a thousands times. The only thing I do remember is I was trying to guard my face. When I looked down, my shirt was bloody. From the mirror in the bedroom I could see scratches all over my body. I called Milton to see if he could pick Quincy up from school. He never asked for any explanation.

Everything was going through my mind. Did she call the police? When were the police going to arrive? Whatever happened in that bedroom, Catherine never came back. The police never showed up. Who said that men don’t cry. I cried for days and days. I love my wife but we always seem to communicate through other people. That did not help our marriage at all. Months had passed and finally I got a call from one of Catherine’s long time friends from New York. Beverly told me Catherine was granting me full custody of Quincy. Before I could ask about Catherine, I was listening to the dial-tone. Just when I thought I had pulled myself together the crying came back. Here was my son asking all these questions and I had no answers. Quincy and I had to move on.

Quincy did get evaluated and he was diagnosed with NLD Syndrome. I have full custody of Quincy now. He often asks me if he was the cause of his mother leaving. He wonders will she ever come back. I wonder the same. Catherine and I never really communicated what was on our minds and in our hearts. We were both too young to have children. I am seeking professional help. There is so much I need to work through. I don’t want to be an angry parent. This isn’t just about my life. I need to be sure I don’t damage Quincy’s life. He has a lot to deal with. I will be right there for him. I have a lot to learn about NLD Syndrome. Milton is helping me to set up a support group and build a website. Yes, I am afraid but I will keep my promise to Quincy’s grandmother. Let Fathers be Fathers and continue to advocate for their children’s needs. Let Fathers be Fathers and understand the social and emotional part of their children’s life. Let Fathers Be Fathers and show the love, support, and embrace their child’s weakness just as they would rally around their strengths. JoAnn is probably looking down on me and Quincy today. As JoAnn would say, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It.

DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to a young man who had to deal with it. He has done an exceptional job and is very supportive of his family and children. He would make any mother proud of how he is handling his life and the lives of family and friends he has touched. This one is for you, Willie Watson.

Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy

Ok Gang, we are not ordering Pizza and we are not watching any Movies. You saw what happened to the Republicans and the Tea Party. They just don’t get it. Pizza gives you Gas and you can Blow Yourself Out of The Box. The Deal John Boehner tried to put in place went down 59 to 41 in the Senate. If John Boehner had read any of SMOKELBG’S SUPERBOWL STORIES he would have learned Twisting people’s’ Arm and Cursing at his Gang Will Not Work. First of all, John Boehner didn’t know his people. He needed a manual on the Republican Tea Party. The people he did know he decided to punished them. The ones he Punished found out he Didn’t Know Anything. John Boehner’s Gang has received a TKO. Teddy Pendergrass was Not singing the song. John Boehner only made the Republican Tea Party anger escalate and their behaviors showed its A…. The Boehner Gang is now watching STAR TREK II, WRATH OF KHAHN. The movie was spectacular. The Internal Squabble behind the scenes of the movie is the Republicans vs. Tea Party.

Gene Roddenberry got kicked to the curb for changing his mind too much and going over the limit of his budget. He was given one of those positions, Last House On The Left. This is the Out Of Sight, Out Of Your Mind Position given to those who have problems with Productivity. Directors and Producers were brought in to finish the job. Gene Roddenberry and many others now understand every Promotion Is Not A Promotion. The Movie Industry has problems with their Gangs. You can ask Steven Spielberg, John Singleton, Clint Eastwood, Tyler Perry, and Spike Lee. Now Spike, the order of your name being last has nothing to do with your phenomenal skills. It is just the way SMOKELBG wrote it. Nothing Personal. Will John Boehner get one of these Promotions? His Directions wasn’t clear nor good. John Boehner produced very little in his Two Step Plan. Maybe he thought he was Dancing. Well John, I hate to tell you, Don’t Go There. You might trip and Fail Again.

We have a new Democratic Emblem. Our Gang is going Full Circle With The Big D. “KNOW THIS”, (translation of KNOW THIS–I AM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU, OKAY) the Deal is for We The People and Our Nation. When Republicans and the Tea Party ran out of Toilet Tissue, I offered them Wipes. They were hesitant but they figured out what to use them for. It took awhile but that’s okay. Once they got cleaned off, I sent for John Boehner. I did not curse. I asked John Boehner to get his TUTTI-FRUTTI AW ROOTY BOOTY in here—A WOP-BOP-ALOO-MOP, ALOP BAM BOOM (translation–Drum Role Please). There was a problem in the Gang of Musicians. Pat Boone cleaned up Little Richard’s song and sold more copies than Little Richard. Hmm! I wonder why? This is another Trip Down Black Alley. Melissa Harris Perry did an excellent job of explaining the RACIAL DIVIDE between Blacks, Whites, and Latinos on Income, Wealth, and Education on the Rachel Maddow Show. I went before the Nation and I expressed there may be many who may not agree with me or my decision. Hell, or even like me for being the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Michelle Bachman, I had nothing to do with you and Sarah Palin not getting into the Intelligent Women’s Club. You need to talk to SMOKELBG about that one. Patti Labelle and Micheal McDonnell would sing it to the tune of I’M ON MY OWN. What did Little Richard tell you ladies? GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY you cannot have it Your Way. WOOOOO! You are not the Pointer Sisters. Michelle Bachman take your Girlfriend, Sarah Palin, and Point Your Butt toward the door. On the way out see Ray Charles so he can tell you to Hit The Road Jack.

The Democrats and I roll to the tune of Music not Musiq. I know how the Republicans and the Tea Party got the issues confused. Musiq Soulchild is the Artist and Songwriter who sings Teach Me. Before the deal goes down I hope the Republican and the Tea Party learn  what the FULL CIRCLE BIG D is about to Teach Them. When Kool And The Gang loses their Kool, they would listen to the Big B, Barry White.  Barry White would sing Practice What You Preach to John Boehner, his Gang, and the Tea Party. If it hadn’t been for the Ohio Players jamming at the Democrats luncheon, the Whitehouse would be singing Fire. The only reason why we stayed up Day And Night On Two Occasions listening to the DEELE because Babyface, LA Reid, and Kevin Edmond were having problems with their Gang. Our Deal for We The People and Our Nation–We Cannot Go For Broke. Bobby Womack just told Chaka Khan, I Can’t Understand It. Chaka Khan sent an e-mail to Shanice saying I Feel For You. It is hard to go over to the Republican Camp and sing Silent Prayer. Envogue is at the Senate Hearing Committee singing Never Gonna Get It. Jade just broke through the door and said, “5, 4, 3, Yo Time Is Up”. Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy, Boyz II Men will wrap it up with We Come To The End Of The Road.

We The People and Our Nation have been under a lot of stress. Just before the darkest hour dawn will break. A little Laughter can go a long way. We learned who the GIVERS, TAKERS, and the RUMP SHAKERS were. It was not Guy, Blackstreet, or Wrecks-N-Effect. To all my NLDERS music is a good strategy to soothe the Savage Beast. If your choice is Movies, make sure it is a Movie you can Understand and Not Need Your Interpreter. People become annoyed when others talk in the show. Leave your cellphones at home. LAUGHTER reduces ones STRESS. FRIENDS and RELATIONSHIPS are hard to maintain. Anyone can have trouble with their Gang. Keeping It Real For NLD Skills.